Bisdakplanet.net

bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban.

asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. promise jud!

BF: Darling dako kaayo ko’g problema.
GF: Love, ayaw pag-ingon nga imong problema. ATOA kanang problema kay naghinigugmaay kita. Unsay problema NATO?
BF: nabuntis NATO si inday ug KITA ANG AMAHAN!

Doc: Ma’am, sigun sa imong blood test, high blood ka.
Ma’am: ha? tinuod ka doc? dili man ko katuo sa imong gisulti! i’m healthy! naa pa kay second opinion?
Doc: Bati pa jud kag nawong!

ATTY: asa ka pagkahitabo sa rape?
JUN: sa kamaisan
ATTY: nag-unsa ka didto?
JUN: nalibang!
ATTY: pila ka kadupa gikan sa krimen?
JUN: naa bay malibang magdupa-dupa? Ayaw pagbugal-bugal ‘torni uy!

babae: nong! sakay ko!
drivr: cge! asa man ka?
bbae: diha lang sa kanto! naay bayad ang bata?
drivr: ay libre lang kay duol man.
bbae: unya, ang mosabak naay bayad?
drivr: wala gihapon!
bbae: cige nak! sabaka ko…

AMO: inday, gipatotoy na nimo ang bata?
Maid: Yes mam! gipatotoy na.
Amo: Ang sir nimo ningkaon na?
Maid: Naah! mam, dili man mukaon si sir, gipatotoy na lang pud nako.

Customer: Day, kape palihug.
Tindera: Tag P10 pesos na ra ba.
Customer: Di ba tag P8 ra na?
Tindera: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.
Customer: Ah, ayaw na lang butangi’g gasolina!

BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.
TAGALANG TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?
BISAYA: Lemoncito gud.. yong maliit na buongon!

TEACHER: give me a tag question.
PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn’t she?
TEACHER: Very good! Binisay-a Dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra gwapa, wa sya kuyapi?

pasyente: doc, regular lagi ko malibang. kada alas 7 sa buntag
doctor: maayu nuon na! unsa may problema?
pasyente: alas 8 am man gud ko maka mata!
doctor: oink!

bana: Pangga, naka-save ko ug 6 pesos karon kay ako na man gigukod ang jeep, wala man ko mu sakay
asawa: bogo ka man diay! taxi unta imung gigukod aron mas dako imong na-save!

security: excuse me po mam, titingnan ko lang ang bag nyo kung merong baril .
tiguwang: buang ka! di man gani maigo ang balde sa akong bag, baril pa kaha!

laughter is the best medicine!

share lang ni nako kay namoot gyd ko gabasa-dawat ra pod ni nako,
kana bang Forwarded Messages, pasiaw pero……………..mangatawa sa ta…………

A Filipino goes to Woolworth’s in Australia . He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out.

The Manager gets suspicious.

He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Filipino to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Filipino goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food.

Next week the Filipino finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out. The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Filipino to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Filipino goes home and returns with a dog.. He gets to buy the dog food.

The following week the Filipino comes to Woolworth’s with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag.. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately pulls it out.

He shouts at the Filipino, “What the hell! This is shit, you Idiot?”

The Filipino calmly replies, “Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper?”

siyaget lang kinsa mokoyog nako ug libod-libod,

uso na ron kay hapit na pasko.

daghan ng kaon-kaon,
sigop-sigop, kanta-kantahan,
sayaw-sayawan, tsika-tsikaan,

ug sa tanan……….shopping-shoppingan…………..

Sayonan ug palitan ko ani sa??????????????
mao ni akong gi-wish unta, galing wa lagi available daw, nahurot na…..heheheheh

sigi, siyaget lang aron kuyog ta,
bisan way diyot basta malipayon ug
busog…………………

Malipayong Domingo sa tanan!!!!!!!

Enjoy gyd ta sa gracia gihatag sa Ginoo kanatong tanan……………..

clicka lang ang pics para makita tanan ang pics……………..daghan salamat……………….
pasiaw ta ani gamay kay pastilan tugnawa kaayo bya!

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a
party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.

The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love
him. And he’s lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he
received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a
top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.

gwapo kaayo sa????????????????????????