Funny Jokes
March 14th, 2007 by ivy
mga tawa sa ta mga kahigalaan bwahahahaha! la man ko lingaw diri then dli man ko pwedi mag post ug vedio sa akong tingog……kay hadlok ko na managan unya mo tanan…..kay wla diri wla didto bya ning tingog ko.basin nuon mag linog simbako lang. so mao ni akong jokes tawa mo ha? well maybe some of you naka basa na ani pero tawa lang gihapon gud ha.
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”
“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
basta!
gf: hubarin mo na panty ko!
bf: o ayan! hubad na!
gf; pati bra ko! bilis!
bf:o ayan hubad na rin!
gf: sa susunod wag mo nga isuot yung mga gamit ko!!!
BAKLA!
TAE
May isang taga lungsod na nagbakasyon sa isang probinsya..
ei.. natatae na sya wala pa namang C.R. sa palayan na pinamamasyalan niya…e me ilog syang nakita kaya dun na lang sha umebak.. nung natapos na sya’t nailabas na niya ang kanyang sama ng loob naghugas sya sa me ilog at inamoy nya yung kamay nya..
pagkaamoy nya amiy ebak pa rin.
dali-dali syang umuwi sa bahay nila upang maghugas ng kamay sampung box na ng sabon at limang bote na ng alcohol ang naubos nya para lang sa paghuhugas ng kamay pero pag inaamoy nya yung kamay nya mabaho pa rin…
hindi sya nakatiis pinutol nya yung kamay nya hanggang siko pero nung inamoy nya amoy tae pa din…
pinutol nya kamay nya hanggang braso amoy tae pa din..
PuchA nung naisipang nyang humarap sa salamin nakadikit pala sa ilong nya yung EBAK….
BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA…………..
kung sino ka man!sa bus may umutot. . .
may nagbayad.. “e2 ho bayad ko ksama na ung umutot”
sabi ng katabi nya.. “Ano kala mo sakin, wlang pera?”
hehe!
Category: Bisaya | 34 Comments »
